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| you had the most intense feeling in your entire life the other day. Manchester United won the title beating Wigan 2-0 but right next to my television on the right laid my brothers urn's and his mini shrine. There was relief, elation, anguish, despair, confusion, regret, love, emptiness, fulfillment, pain and sorrow all at once. Seeing Man U rejoicing and my brothers urns at the same time was intense, insane, amazing and surreal. It was overwhelming to the point where tears would not even justify the emotion. Amazing it felt like my heart was about to explode and my mind would follow suit, it was beyond human comprehension... I don't even think I did a good job describing it.
People always tell me to move on and get on with life. I will tell them the same thing when they suffer a dear loss in their family.. and only then will they realize the futility in their stupid ways. My friends are awesome, they have rarely brought up the issue of my brother, even if so..they conversation is never pursued.. it honestly helps...talking about it rarely solves anything as I have questions that nobody can answer.. so I turn to the Lord with full conviction that He is the only one that can help me with this... what can a mortal person do but try to apply logic and kind words of comfort to lighten the situation.. how can a finite mind understand this infinite event? what on earth am I talking about.. this is a very "interesting" experience for lack of a better word.
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| you had a dream last night, God allowed Andrew to come back to earth for three days.. you were so happy you woke up hoping it was real...when you realized it wasn't it, tears started streaming.
God, why is this so hard..give me strength lord..I desperately need it..
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| Life has changed, for the better.. I cannot see it now, but I will... as God works in mysterious ways. I take ultimate comfort in knowing that my brother is in heaven.. and that God used him to speak to my father and I. The medical impossibilities that happened, the unification of churches and friends all over the world, the compassion of strangers and so much more. I am going to miss my brother.. but I know that he is where I need to be and want to go.. he has achieved his goal and now I must mine. I need to see him again... I need to get into heaven... remember this, do not let your brothers death be in futility. I need to get into heaven.. thank you God for making an exception and providing me proof even when the basis of Christianity is faith...I know my brother is in good hands....thank you for making life real for me Andrew. I love you.. I will see you when I get there.. I will never heal...I love you too much.. till then.
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| The mortgage crisis is getting lethal, inflation is creeping up and commodity prices are thru the roof... I understand that you want the dollar to drop to encourage domestic spending.. but another rate cut? come on man... my dollars are going to be almost worthless Ben.. when I came here it was 3.8 now its 3.2 probably going to drop to 3.1 after the cut... if I had 1000 USD I would have lost 700 ringgit if I converted Ben... and I have much more than a thousand dollars.... dont cut the rates... stay firm.. that will spike the dollar up.. and I will be rushing for conversion.. come on Ben.. do me a favour..I dont want to bring home Euros...or rush to the Yen like all passive investors.. | | |
| Just finished watching Lost episode 5 season 4 entitled "constant". Fucking hell.. I have never been so entertained and intruiged in my life. Amazing.. JJ Abrams is amazing.. I forgive him for Cloverfield.. I have been following lost all the way from the first season and it is my favorite of all time.. Simply the best.. simply the best... nothing else can even come close. Now I need to wait another week.. in anticipation.. and soon another season.. I enjoy immensely how careful they are about what they reveal what they do not and how these answers and questions are dispersed.. it keeps the viewer hungry for more and gets the viewer so engaged that he/she ponder why and what will happen and that builds the anticipation..the impatience and eagerness.. Amazing..simply is.. | | |
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